Update

May 27, 2007 at 8:29 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

OK, so I haven’t blogged much lately and there are so many reasons for it. The big one has been the continuing visit from the brother in law. It is not easy having another person in the house full time. Much less, an alcoholic in denial. Despite being given this fresh start, he has decided to continue all of the same behaviors and has ruined it for everyone. Good thing I have enough experience with alcoholics to not enable him. We have been down right hard on him, and super clear with expectations. It is very tiring. His decisions keep disappointing the kids. I hate that. It makes me want to throttle him, but it would do no good.

The other tiring thing about all this is that we have been fighting the government to be able to let him stay here. It is very hard for a person who is here legally to be able to stay here legally even when he meets all the requirements for being allowed to stay such as an employer willing to take him on, and a blood relative that is an American. We have filled out stacks of paperwork, spent hours on the computer looking up loopholes, on the phone to immigration till we find the loophole won’t work for us. We finally had to enlist the help of am immigration attorney. Things is messed up if this is what a person has to go through to stay here. No wonder folks get here, and then stay illegally. It is easier to live as a fugitive than to meet the governments requirements for staying here legally. Sigh.

So, I am absolutely physically and mentally worn out. We are currently getting ready to send him home in 15 days and we find out that the ticket we thought he had to go back home will not be honored by American Airlines. Another long story with hours on the phone and computer to find a plane ticket to get him home. Turns out he has spent all his money on booze and has nothing to buy the ticket with. We are so broke that even being frugal isn’t helping much so we can’t buy a ticket even if we wanted to. Now we have to deal with a sulky alcoholic who doesn’t want to go back home, but we can’t keep him here. I wonder why I am stressed.

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5 Comments »

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  1. I’m really sorry to hear all this Karma. I know from sad personal experience how hard it is to put up with an alcoholic. Both my parents were drunks and only now in middle age are my older sib and I able to discuss the way it impacted our lives and our relationship with each other. I am sorry to say but it leaves me with little patience for dealing with those that are afflicted with alcoholism. You’re a better person than I am. I’d throw his drunk ass out in the street and let him deal with his own mess.

  2. Aww I’m really sorry Kamrin. This sounds so,so stressful.
    Here’s hoping it all ends really soon.

  3. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel…sometimes it’s just a little tiny star shining out there….but I know you can see it if you squint hard enough….really really hard…especially with your old eyes. 😉

    I love you.

  4. I just read this. Oh man! I’m SO sorry. I had no idea things were this rough for you. I really don’t know what to say, but I want to make sure you realize what an amazing person you are for oh so many reasons.

  5. Sorry to learn that you are overextended in so many ways. Hope you feel liberated and better soon.

    Cheers,
    Deb


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