Day 5

July 18, 2007 at 4:14 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

The kids call their dad several times a day, especially at bedtime. They then cry themselves silly cause they miss him so much. All of this has me quite miserable, so I assumed (yeah! I know that that makes me!) that their father would also be a little sad. Wrong. He went out to a movie with a co-worker. A guy. I never met this guy. I know many of his co-workers and this one I don’t. The last movie he took me to was Titanic. They went to a movie. He told me. WTF?!? Why tell me that?!? He says they are just “friends.” I am not buying it. I was so crushed all I could do was break down and bawl like a colicky baby. Once recovered, I decided I was through being all nice and stuff and trying to spend all my time considering his feelings. He obviously was not considering mine. I then cracked down and laid some new rules. These include, I don’t wanna know about dates, no dates in the house (the same would apply to me if I were dating) and that I was gonna get some legal protection. He agreed to all, and so now there is an attempt to get all the bankruptcy stuff into his name, and for me to get some things taken care of to keep the kids safe financially. This way, I can hope, that if there is total mind-loss, he will not ditch me and the kids where we wind up in a bad apartment, the kids in public school, and me working two jobs. That was not the life we chose for our kids when we decided to become parents. There is no reason for them to suffer just because he wants to change the game plan. They didn’t ask for this. I am still trying to keep the kids from hearing as much of this as possible. They get to hear the personal niceties when I talk to him on the phone, and the serious adult stuff is handled in another room, or after bedtime. My Hosts are wonderful about “protecting” them when something comes up. They help me have that privacy. They know I am not in there just gossiping so they allow me the flexibility to disappear with the phone, and have few minutes to recover before I return to the room. I am glad to have them here for that. They gave great hugs after this and just shook their heads with me. There really isn’t much to say about it all, it is just a head shaker.

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5 Comments »

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  1. I am sorry…..mucho hugs!

    Good for you on putting your foot down.

    Love ya girl,
    Alice

  2. *HUGS*

  3. I’m so sorry that the reality of the situation is hitting you so very hard but I’m especially glad you’re able to be with your favorite friend in the world when you need support the most.

    That he is telling you about his engagements with friends is a head shaker – try not to take it as a sign of missing the kids, though. It seems to me that men just aren’t piner-awayers…

    Take care of yourself and allow yourself to be angry and express your own feelings. It’s not your job anymore to take care of his!!!

  4. Dear Kamrin,

    I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this. It sounds so rough. I am glad that you are standing up for yourself and the kids.

    We need to get together and share homesteading ideas. I don’t know anyone else who thinks composting toilets, recycled greywater systems and passive solar architecture is cool.

    Traci

    P.S. WTF are Kale Chips? You must share!

  5. Well, the way Shana made them was with fresh Kale, some ground sea salt, a dash of vinegar, and olive oil. She then baked them just long enough for them to be crunchy. Me? I started to make them got interrupted by a ton of company and they ate the my unbaked version right from the salad bowl like they were munching on Chips. I used extra virgin olive oil, a dash of vinegar, some coarse ground sea salt, and mixed peppercorns, foll wed by a bit of lemon juice. The only thing that would have made it better would have been some nice raw garlic mixed through. It really was yummy!


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