Thank you all

January 4, 2008 at 3:24 am | Posted in Personal | 7 Comments

Thank you all for your kind words of support during all this stuff. Many of you have called me, e-mailed me, IMed and one of you even sent a card! I received a fantastic gnome journal that I can write about it in, I just can’t seem to put anything unhappy on pages with fantastic gnomes! It really has helped to know that others are there with me scratching their heads as much as I am on all this.

The Former has spent all these weeks kinda searching for an apartment, and now he has found one that he is comfortable with and that he can afford. He will be moving within the week.

The kids are doing a little better with it all, but I think when he is totally gone, the issues will come up again. There has been packing up of items to go with him, and some things I just had to give him because they make me either cry or get angry when I look at them. That is kinda how I have been spending my time, between crying and being angry.

I keep writing paragraphs and deleting them, cause to the outsiders, heck!, to those that know him, his behavior is so different that he is like a different person, and that just can’t be conveyed in writing. So many of the things he is doing, when written down, look even worse. He is seeing his Psychologist twice a week now, and is taking some meds. I am not sure they are helping him. In fact, they may be making some things worse. He is supposed to talk to his Psychiatrist about this, but I don’t know if he will. Once of the effects seems to be compulsive lying. I can never tell when he is telling the truth about even the most mundane things. Whenever he has any money now, he blows through it very quickly and there is no evidence where it has gone. These are just the two biggest of the compulsive behaviors. They are also the most worrisome.

So, I just spend my days now trying to prepare for the big day when he is officially gone. I have cleaned out every bit of “extra” stuff in the house, and organized the rest. This will make it easier when it is just the three of us. I have had to give up all crafting for now, even though I really wanted to make me some warm winter socks (it got COLD here this week). I keep the kids busy, and they continue their schooling. Both are doing fantastic in all their studies, and they are having plenty of play time. They are my main concern at this time. I even had to go so far as to ask an attorney friend to help us draw up a Separation Agreement. With the current state of mind, and unpredictable behavior of the Former, I worry that he will find him a guy, and forget about us. This just helps me feel a little more secure about the kid’s future. So, that is the basics of what all is going on, and hopefully soon, I will be able to start up on some happier notes as things begin to look up for us all. After all, 2008 has got to be better than 2007. Right?

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7 Comments »

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  1. Hugs and more Hugs from WI.

  2. damn. what an ordeal. i am encouraged to see that you’re holding up remarkably well, considering the shock of all of this. i am with you in fretting about the little ones. in one sense, it may be easier once he’s actually moved on. you can begin to heal over the space he occupied in your life. or maybe not. no telling. the only thing i can say for certain is that i am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers and also that it is amazing how much shit we can survive. big hugs.

  3. I love you. That is all I’m gonna say!

  4. love and hugs,love and hugs,love and hugs:)
    You’re smart,you’re a good human and you’re a good mum.

  5. I am so sorry that you & kids are going though this. I will keep you in my prayers.Hugs to you and the kids.

  6. It sounds like you are coping with all of this. It also sounds like it is really hard. I’m sorry that the ex is having a mental breakdown on you. Hopefully, life will get a little easier with him out of the house, if for no other reason than you won’t have him under foot and it will make moving on with your life easier.

    I think there will be some tough times ahead, but I also think you will be able to handle what life throws you.

    Thinking of you. Big hug.

  7. Kamrin, I already commented on how much we have in common around this crap on the last post. you might consider a ‘secret’ blog to vent about these issues – one that his friends/family don’t know about. trust me, it helps sometimes. You are absolutely doing the right thing about the $$ and getting an agreement. You must do this for the kids, consider it your job for them, if that makes it easier. I know it’s hard as hell. hugs to you, girl.


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